A few hypotheses:
50 pounds too heavy from eating all those Hot Pockets
Mom always barges into my room without knocking
The thing that happened with that kid next door
Too many cats, especially women who are allergic
Never any girls at LAN parties
Toy Story 2 sheets on my bed
No money, no bitches
Don’t want to compete with Mr. Bear for my affection
My bald spot when I am not wearing a baseball cap
They would always have to drive, seeing as I don’t have a car
Women don’t like guys who are in touch with their feelings
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Title by: berryprincess
Story by: Jenny
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