I wandered back home in 1933. Divorced, destitute and barely clinging to my sanity, I frequented taverns on Thayer Street, near the Brown University campus. There I would find the only solace I knew from the howling inside my skull. Sometimes I would declare, “I am Providence,” but that often elicited a response not unlike staring a Shaggoth in one of its many eyes. Other times, I’d ask if their backsides were colours from out of space, because they left me speechless. But none of these lines worked quite as well as a simple, “May I buy you a drink?”
***
Title by: SixSider
Story by: Quintin
2 people like this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by Quintin Marcelino.
By admin
– March 2, 2010
‘Hello Mr Randall. I’m Alice, and I just wondered if I could interview you for my science project?’
‘Your science project?’ George frowned.
‘Yes sir, I read that you’re the last moonshiner, is that right?’
‘Well I believe so, but…’
‘Well that’s why I’m here!’
‘To learn about… Moonshine?’ George shook his head slowly.
‘Well yes of course! So, tell me. How do you shine the moon..?
‘How do I…? Oh…’ George looked at Alice, her eager face, her wide open eyes. He took in her dog-eared notebook, her chewed pencil, and smiled.
‘Well it’s more magic than science…’
***
Title by: Edward Sutton
Story by: Honest
6 people like this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Guest Authors, Stories by Honest.
By admin
– March 1, 2010
She told me to back off, and it took all the self-control I had, but I backed off. I stopped calling. I stopped looking at her Facebook page. It’s not like I could stop thinking about her, but I felt like a stalker whenever I thought she might be waiting for me. She said she wasn’t ready, not now, that maybe I was the kind of guy she would marry, but not now, OK? So I backed off.
I didn’t even know she had moved until I got the email announcement blast. Who CCs her ex when she gets engaged?
***
Title by: Blake
Story by: Nick
1 person likes this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by Nick Faber.
By admin
– March 1, 2010
“In the case of Gregory Harris v. The Crows of Massachusetts Avenue, we the jury find the defendants…not guilty.”
How did it come to this? Gregory sat there, shaking his head. There were appeals, other trials, civil suits. But it was an uphill battle and he barely had the money to cover these legal expenses, never mind future ones. But that damn murder of crows, cawing in the courtroom. They were filthy rich. That’s unsurprising, considering they stole thousands of lines of code and sold them to Microsoft. The crows continued to caw smugly. They had destroyed another student’s life.
***
Title by: Anonymous
Story by: Quintin
2 people like this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by Quintin Marcelino.
By admin
– February 26, 2010
Episode 82: Snowbody Bothers Me!
EXT. FUN TIMES DESERT
A blizzard. Random-Ass Kid stands, arms crossed, shivering, with Cactus Buddy beside him, icicles hanging from his spines.
CACTUS BUDDY: I kind of like it when it snows.
Random-Ass Kid shivers. We hear his teeth chatter.
CACTUS BUDDY: People act like snow slows everything down, but with fewer people around the desert, I can get more done.
RANDOM-ASS KID: Like w-w-what?
The two stand in silence for a beat and then a snowball rolls by in front of them.
***
Title by: Sir Richard the fancy pantsy
Story by: Nick
2 people like this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by Nick Faber.
By admin
– February 26, 2010
“What’s up tonight?” he asked, as casually as he could muster.
The voice on the other end of the phone was intoxicating and indifferent. “Oh, nothing probably. You?”
“Not really, you know me. Hey, want to have a scrabble night?”
“Sure, that’d be fun. If I’m not too tired after work. How about I call you when I get out? We can take it from there. Maybe we can get some food.”
“Sounds good.”
Later, at nearly midnight, he would finally eat something, having finally accepted what he’d known all along in his heart: she would not be calling him.
***
Title by: camilles
Story by: David
1 person likes this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by David Blackstone.
By admin
– February 25, 2010
Most critics thought it was a travesty. First, 10 Best Pictures nominees and then, new Academy president Krissy Kapowski created a category for Best Cat Actor. It was official: The Oscars had gone to shit. The first year the award went to Benjamin Mittens, co-star of Feline, My Lovely, a retelling of the noir classic with Philip Marlowe replaced by a cat. Mittens’ popularity exploded, and he even released an album called “Meow That’s What I Call Music.” But this year, after an outcry from several animal civil rights groups, a goat named Melvin was nominated. Truly, nothing is sacred.
***
Title by: Anonymous
Story by: Quintin
6 people like this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by Quintin Marcelino.
By admin
– February 25, 2010
It’s been there all day. It doesn’t hurt. But I can see it. I see it on index cards, ice, juice. I see it double in juice. I’m flipping through the channels and there’s a Spanish show called Día tras Día, and I see it double, in long streaks. I rub my eyes and flip ahead and then it’s gone. My wife comes home from work and my eyes are all red. She probably thinks I’m stoned. “I keep seeing tittles,” I say. And she says, “Yeah right.” She probably thinks I meant titties. I see it double in titties.
***
Title by: ichelpy
Story by: Nick
3 people like this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by Nick Faber.
By admin
– February 24, 2010
The Rolls Royce Phantom 2062 is a vehicle of authoritative presence for the modern executive. It has all the appointments the discriminating driver will expect in a model of its class: full environmental seal with filtering protects you from pollutants and radioactives; lightweight armor plate and active defenses protects you from everything else.
And of course, our patented combat suspension gives you the handling you need for evasion while the hydrofusion engine from our partners at Lockheed gives you the speed and pickup for leaving your problems behind.
Bring your private vehicle waiver to a Rolls Royce dealer near you!
***
Title by: Alyssa
Story by: David
1 person likes this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Stories by David Blackstone.
By admin
– February 24, 2010
The dog jumped out the window. It was a first-floor apartment, so Tommy jumped too. The dog took off down the block, rounded a corner and was gone.
Tommy returned to the apartment and sorted his boss’s mail and watered the plants and checked the phone messages, knowing full well that soon he would be fired. He left before his boss came home. The boss called Tommy eight times in an hour, and Tommy never answered.
The dog came back the next day. The doorman found him sniffing around the trash. Tommy never went to the Upper East Side again.
***
Title by: otis
Story by: Evan Greenspoon
1 person likes this story.
Posted in Stories.
Tagged with Guest Authors, Stories by Evan Greenspoon.
By admin
– February 23, 2010
