I Don’t Eat That

Danielle approached the buffet like something on the table could jump up and attack her.

Prime rib was too fatty. Not to mention an animal product. Which she would never eat.

Excessive paprika ruined the deviled eggs.

The rolls were rock hard. To demonstrate, she rapped one against the table, then tossed it back in the basket.

While it didn’t have meat, Tofurkey was clearly for yuppies who couldn’t fully embrace their choice to go animal-free.

And did you know that potato salad breeds e-coli?

When we sat down at our table, I pretended she was someone else’s date.

***
Title by: Anonymous
Story by: Jenny

I like this story!

Undo

Related posts:

1. The Day the Internet Stopped
2. Is It Too Late To Change My Mind?
3. He Swallowed a Bee
4. A bleak afterthought (Jenny Version)
5. You Don’t Know Jack About My Basal Ganglia