The box and the instructions called her Dirty Debbie, but she’s Cecilia now and there’s nothing dirty about her. She was programmed to have a voice like those phone sex ladies in late night commercials, but those phone sex ladies are all fat and Cecilia’s thin, so I looked online and found a way to hack into her voicebox. I sped up a recording of myself doing a Spanish accent. It fits her. Every night, she sits across from me at dinner, next to me for TV. She even has her own bed, Cecilia does. It’s not how you think.
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Title by: Radiohead Rules
Story by: Nick
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You’re breakin’ my heart!